From Pain to Passion & Purpose (2)
A breath of painful truth,
which I don’t know whether I should be sharing this with you.. but I am going to do it anyway. So..
10 years ago, I was lost, scared, angry and failing at life. My life was out of control. I was undernourished to flesh and bones and negative as hell. The physical and emotional pain was suffocating. (In case you haven’t read the first part of the series yet, feel free to check it out before you continue reading! here )
Every morning, I woke up to depression and panic. I had nothing but excuses.
And then, one day, I decided enough was enough. I decided to write a new chapter.
Change starts with one decision.
You must let the pain visit.
You must allow it to teach you.
You must NOT allow it to overstay!
I know it is easier said than done, but I want you, dear reader, to know that it won’t get any easier as time passes by.
So why not decide right now?
Decide that you deserve more. That you’re gonna stop accepting survival as a lifestyle, that this is YOUR decade. Decide that you will stop listening to the same bullshit excuses and self doubt that has held you back forever. Today make a decision to get out of bed every morning and fight. Fight your self doubt, your anxiety. Fight your fear. And do the work you are avoiding. Whether that’s eating more/less, working out more ang giving yourself more time to rest and relax. Whatever it is.. JUST DO IT!
No one is going to show up at your door one day to “save” you!
I know, it’s not easy but it is worth it.
Yes, it will be hard. You’ll miss out on things your friends are doing. You’ll face judgment. Yes, you’ll fail so many times you’ll stop counting. Yes, you won’t know how to do it.
My advice?
Do it anyway.
And when you fail, keep going.
And when you do the work, the right people show up in your life.
It’s true. Read on!
I thought it was just me, but it isn’t..
I used to sit behind desks and research the human behaviour at a small University in southern Switzerland. I was striving for a PhD to get a Doctorate in the subject that has always interested me: the human mind!
The truth is: I was desperately searching for something that would fulfil me, would somehow give me a bigger meaning to my existence.
I remember sitting in my dark, closed off, office staring at a computer screen for hours, just moving through my life on auto-pilot. Working like a maniac doing work I felt miserable doing.
And my guess is that many of you can relate.
I did this for 2 years!
And for 2 years I was wondering how the hell I was going to make an impact in the world from sitting behind a desk researching the human mind on the computer – sometimes not even coming in contact with any real human being for days..
I was sent to the University of Michigan to present my research, I was paid more than I would have asked for. But in the mean time, I was constantly acting as if I was happy, because I was hitting goals or making money.
But my soul was screaming. The brain has a brilliant way of engaging defense mechanisms to prevent us from feeling psychological pain, and I was fully leaning into ALL of them. One day, I decided to take my healing into my own hands, and I vowed to do as much research and try as many different things as I could to truly move the needle forward and create real, lasting changes in my own life.
I want to keep it short, but I couldn’t move on like that. So I quit and started writing a new chapter..
Things are a lot different now, and I see where my purpose lies. What I get to offer the world now is much different, and more important than anything else I was doing for “work”. I get the opportunity to work WITHIN the world and offer connection and deep healing.
I don’t hold a PhD, but I am doing great without it.
I don’t have all the answers, but I am doing the best that I can do.
I am not “perfect” as I was once striving for, but I can accept my imperfection.
Here is what I did to follow my purpose –
and you might NOT know about me yet
“The best lessons I have learned in life came from the worst feelings I ever felt in life.“
I spent several years studying and researching the human brain without knowing my purpose. It was only after I graduated that I eventually began to discover the key insights that became life-changing. After I completed my Master of Science degree in Psychology, I went on a deeper journey of self-discovery. After 6 years of learning about the human brain at university, I slowly started to put my knowledge into practice and became an experimental subject myself. I travelled to Bali for 6 months and completed a Yoga Teacher Training. That’s where my interest for the body-mind connection and my joy of nourishing myself (again) with a whole food plant-based diet started to grow.
My body finally started to trust me again and allowed the colourful nutrients from this island to nourish me. But it wasn’t until recently, when I dedicated myself to full recovery, not only my body changed, but also everything else around me seemed to shift. Everyone suddenly seemed happier, more uplifting and lighter as well when I was standing in my truth. As if I was somehow lifting them up – with me. It seemed that my new energy could spread to my surroundings keeping my positivity up.
In that very moment, I decided to educate myself even more. So I started studying nutrition while still working a full time job.
Today, I can proudly call myself a Psychologist, certified Nutritionist and Yoga teacher aka “Holistic Psychologist”. And I will continue educating myself to become a master in these three areas to hopefully help many others one day. Private coaching, retreats, volunteering work.. there’s so much to come your way. And I can’t wait to share what I’ve learned with the world!
What I know now is this:
If knowledge is my power, sharing my knowledge is my “superpower”.
And I’m going to use both wisely!
Why I am telling you all of this?
Because I want to show you that EVERYTHING is possible. You “just” have to step out of your comfort zone and start to create the life YOU want to live. Start by asking yourself every morning: “Who do I want to BE?” NOT “What do I want to DO?” but “Who do I want to BE and be recognised for?” Do this often. Repeat it daily. Believe your answer into existence! Journal, and journal, and then journal a little more. Because only YOU can find the answer.
Take daily actions toward your personal answer and slowly but surely, you will get there..
Do it for yourself (first).
You never know how many people it will inspire.
And remember: Challenges are inevitable. The sun will not shine on you every day. But..
Your challenges are not meant to defeat you.
They are meant to REVEAL you.
From you.
To yourself.
Remember that we become who we consistently practice to be.
From pain to purpose
As I have just told you, what has been once my addiction has become my life’s purpose. I never just “found my purpose”. Instead I strengthened my curiosities and escaped my inner prison. Your purpose is not something you “find”. It’s something you FEEL!
So here is my top-advice: To “find your personal purpose” you cannot just sit there waiting for the day it will arrive. This day might never come. Instead, follow the things and topics you are curious about. The things that get you into a state of flow. Things that make you forget time for a while. Which completely “absorb” you.
I call them “your personal sparks”! We all have them. Yes, and so do YOU!
Every morning I say these 3 positive affirmations to myself, as I know one day they will become reality: I AM HAPPY, HEALTHY, CONFIDENT. (Still working on the last one, though..) I write them down in my GOOD LIFE journal.
By consciously repeating them over and over and over again, I just know with certainty that I will approach EVERY SINGLE DAY with a happy, healthy and confident mindset.
Ask yourself: What are three things you want to bring more of into your life?
Enter each day with a positive affirmation and an intention for who you want to be. Then align your actions with that self-image, and you will gain greater confidence. Trust me, I have been there and I know that it works (even if I’m a sceptic when it comes to things like “manifestation”)!
The closer you get your dream life, the more your journey becomes your dream life.
Stand in your truth and inspire others to do the same
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” – Johann von Goethe
My mission is to encourage others to live up to their full potential. To live their truth their dreams and to unfold their very individual personal present for the world. To help as many as possible to create a HAPPY mind within a HEALTHY body.
If I can reach at least one person here on this platform who is experiencing physical or psychological misaliments with or without diagnoses and is unaware of how healing their past, doing the inner child and shadow work, changing their diet and moving their body could give them life back, my mission is complete. If I reach at least one person who has been labeled with a “mental illness” or feels “stuck” in one area in their life and has never been educated that diet, exercise and positive psychology informed therapy could improve their conditions and give them life back my mission is complete.
This isn’t a war against western medicine. This is simply bringing awareness to a new way of healing and developing – a way of self-healing and self-development. We are all inner connected and we need every hand on deck and open minds communication and collaboration to make a change.
Remember the purpose of my work?
The logo of my blog says it all: You hold your heart in your own two hands. You have the power to be, create and become that person you always wanted to be. At any moment and anywhere in the world – no matter how old or young you are. No matter what you have been through!
There is a reason why your heart is approximately the size of two hands clasped together.
👆🏻
Read this again.
And once again out loud.
With this little food for thought I will leave you with today.
Feel lost? So did I.
Decide to find yourself and you will.
This is a new decade. You have 10 years. 120 months. You can change absolutely anything in 10 years.
I know because I did.
And this decade, 2020, is gonna be the best decade ever.
The only question I can’t answer is this: Will it be YOUR best decade too?
Remember that you are loved no matter what you decide to do. Just know for yourself that your work will light up your flame, which will eventually inspire others to do the same.
With a whole lot of love and confidence,
Here’s to the now, the new, the yet unknown.
And to US. You and me.
Nila 🧡
Ps: in case you have no idea where to begin, start here.
