In this post, you will learn:
- what defensive failure is and how it is holding you back from what you want to achieve
- what thinking in abundance really means
- how you can overcome your limiting beliefs
PS: I have created a handy workbook for you that you can find at the end of this post 😇
Defensive failure keeps you from achieving what you want
Have you ever set a goal in your mind, failed to follow through with it, and then wondered what got in your way even though you knew exactly what to do?
What likely happened in your brain and held you back from sticking with your initial intent is a phenomenon known as “defensive failure.”
Believe it or not, a huge part of the reason you’re not doing what you say you want to do, is in your mind. Your brain defends you against real failure by redirecting you and distracting you. The result: you never make any lasting progress.
The problem: Defensive failure is a cycle. Even though we think about it all the time, we never make any progress. It’s like wishing for something to change, without taking the initiative to take action. Since defensive failure is a human instinct, moving past it takes a conscious and intentional effort.
One of the reasons that you’re locked in a cycle of defensive failure is that you think somewhere in your heart that you “can’t do the thing you want to do”. You think that “some people have the talent or the genetics to do this thing and specifically you don’t”.
You may think you know what it means to live a “live in abundance”, but the following might change this very perspective.
So before I will tell you how to break this vicious cycle, let’s talk about abundance: what it is and how to attract it!
What is abundance – for real?
What is the first thing that pops into your head when you hear “abundance?”
A large circle of friends and family?
While we can apply the concept of abundance to all of those aspects of our lives, I believe the essential meaning of abundance is that you are solidly happy with who you are and no external event or situation can change that state of happiness.
I believe that the problem is not that we don’t have enough abundance in the world, but that we, as a collective consciousness, don’t have the right mindset to use all the abundance we have to use it wisely.
Uhm. Ok. This might not be your definition of abundance, but here is the thing..
I believe we have it all wrong.
You see, every single thing we label as a “problem” is actually not a (real) problem. Let me explain it with some examples.
There is enough food, but people are still hungry. There are enough teachers, but people are still undereducated. So if there are enough resources, the real problem is a question of distribution to spread the abundance to every human being on earth and not a problem of not “having enough abundance”.
Thats why I actually believe, abundance is not about having enough, but about being enough!
The problem: We were taught how to be save not how to think in abundance
Often times, when we struggle to achieve something in our life it is because the conscious mind is reaching for something, but the subconscious program is holding it at bay.
At school, we were told to study hard so that we will “win in life”. When we receive good grates, we can attend university, graduate with excellence and find a job that secures our income.
What if I told you that I followed ALL of it. I studied hard, graduated from high school with excellence, attended university, and again graduated with a MSc. in Psychology (summa cum laude alias “with the highest distinction”). But, did I receive a life full of abundance?
Quite the contrary.
I felt miserable, working like a maniac. Working in a job I was good at, but didn’t enjoy at all. I worked myself almost to death (read more about it here).
That’s why I have come to the conclusion that the journey of abundance is inside of us, so we need to stop looking outside of us.
When you look at abundance with a new meaning and discover it inside yourself, there’s no limitation on the extraordinary life that you can experience.
It’s not easy to do things differently. But it’s definitely worth it.
“Being at ease with not knowing is crucial for answers to come to you.” – Eckhard Tolle
I remember a time where everyone questioned me.
Everyone questioned my actions, my decision to do things differently, to chose my own path of healing. Instead of listening to the common belief, I started to believe in my own healing capacity.
So trust me when I say:
I know what I am talking about!
I know how difficult it is to “go against the flow” and to do things differently. Different is not always wrong, you know. Just because it might not be common practice, it doesn’t mean that it is impossible.
Very few people really take the time to go deep, to tune out to turn in to themselves. That is why we see more and more people lacking a sense of meaning and depression rates increasing (but that’s kind of another story).
Regardless of what the media says and what you see on social media every day, ask yourself these questions:
(hint: this is IMPORTANT!)
What does it mean for YOU to be happy, joyful and successful?
What is YOUR abundance?
Not anyone else’s.
What is the true life of abundance YOU really want to create?
Who do you want to touch?
Where do you want to travel?
Who do you want to see in the mirror?
What does abundance look like?
How would it feel like?
What is your soul truly thriving for?
See, there is NOTHING stopping us. Ever. It’s our limiting beliefs that’s stopping us to thrive. The good thing is: The brain can change at any time and at any age. You just have to start, somewhere.
“Change our brain, we change our body. Change our brain, we could change the world.” – Jim Kwik
How to break through limiting beliefs
The first step towards abundance is…
You have to be aware of your beliefs and limiting beliefs, before you start to shift them and rewrite your story.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and call it fate.” – Carl Jung
I have come up with a 4-step “plan” to break through limiting beliefs and attract more abundance into your life. These exercises helped me so much to shift my mind from scarcity to abundance!
Feel free to try them for yourself.
4-step “plan” to break through limiting beliefs
Step 1: Identify your POSITIVE beliefs
Start by listing the things you already have in your life that you love and your beliefs that attracted those things. Take a moment to write them down.
- my loving & supportive family –> I believe that we are stronger together than alone. I believe in loving relationships and in the healing power of true belonging.
- my daily yoga and meditation practice –> I believe in the healing power of mind-body practices and the importance of taking time to be with yourself, fully.
- my own, beautiful apartment –> I believe that it is possible to create a beautiful home wherever I am and whatever resources I have available.
Step 2: Identify your LIMITING beliefs
Now think about the things you are currently struggling with in life and have been struggling with for a while. These are things that you want in your life, but you find yourself constantly struggling with. Then, write the underlying limiting beliefs behind them.
- drinking too much coffee –> I need the caffeine to make it through the day.
- often suppressing emotions –> I am scared of feeling miserable when I let negative emotions to arise.
- not many deep friendships –> I am scared that others will judge me, because I am different and think about stuff like “abundance” whereas others are watching “the Bachelor” at night.
Step 3: Write down your WORST case scenario
Think about what your life would look like in 5, 10, or 20 years if you continue holding on to your limiting beliefs. What would it cost you? What would be at stake when you keep your life just as it is?
- When I continue drinking too much caffeine, I will eventually be addicted to it. I will always need more to keep me on a constant state of aliveness.
- When I continue to suppress my emotions, I will neither feel bad nor good anymore. The cost of not feeling sad comes with the cost of not feeling positive emotions any longer.
- When I continue being scared of being different, being vulnerable, being me, I will never attract like-minded people into my life.
Step 4: REWRITE your story
The only real power we have is the power of choice. It’s the power to chose what we focus on, how we feel and want to attract into our lives. Now it’s your turn to rewrite your own story and let go of limiting beliefs.
- Write down the things you want to achieve in your life.
- How would you feel when achieving each of these things?
- Write down what beliefs you would need in order to achieve each of them?
- living my passion and helping others one day –> feeling fulfilled –> I believe I have a reason to be alive
- raising a loving family –> feeling happy –> I believe I can be a loving partner and mother
- travel around the world –> feeling inspired –> I believe I can come up with the resources needed to finance my trips
Most importantly: I believe I can live a life of abundance!
Now it’s your turn to rewrite your story and think in abundance!
You have to live YOUR life by yourself, BUT you don’t have to do it alone.
I would love to know if this exercise helped any of you to overcome limiting beliefs and step into abundance. I do this exercise at least once a month to attract more abundance into my life. So far I have never been disappointed! 🙂
My five key take-aways about abundance
- Abundance is a state of being not a state of having. The state of having flows like a natural conclusion once the state of abundant being becomes a living, breathing way of interacting with the world.
- You know that you are on the right track when you are not interested in looking back. You become the writer of your own story.
- Abundance is a choice. Like everything in life we don’t get what we preach, we get what we practice. So don’t blame anyone or anything external for not feeling abundant.
- It’s not easy to do things differently. But it’s definitely worth it.
- The problems that you face are actually the things that you need in order to thrive as you desire. Challenge means opportunity.
“Knowledge is power. But it’s powerless without action!” – Nila
Remember that we rise by lifting others. This is why I believe sharing is so powerful!
As I like to say: We never know how many people we will inspire once we open up and share what we know and what we have learned, even if we are scared to put it out into a world full of haters and people that might question us. This is part of overcoming our nasty limiting beliefs!
As long as you believe in yourself, there is no-one stopping you from doing anything.
Thank you for reading.
With a whole lotta love,
gratitude and abundance,
PS: As promised above, you can get your FREE little workbook on attracting abundance into your life by clicking HERE 😇
PPS: And for those of you who haven’t downloaded THE GOOD LIFE Journal yet, go do it! I receive so many lovely messages that it really helps many of you to feel better – daily! Thanks for the feedback 🥰 I will keep creating these FREE resources for you, because as they say: sharing is caring!