How to overcome challenges
“There are two ways of meeting difficulties: You alter the challenges or you alter yourself to meet them.” – Phyllis Bottome
Hi lovely souls, today I am sharing something that has been on my mind for several weeks and which I like to share with you, because I see so many people falling for the same flaw all over again. So this post is dedicated for everyone who ever suffered from challenges in their life. I assume this includes almost ALL of us, right?
Read on to find out why our mind is such a powerful tool and how you can overcome almost any challenge in life – for real.
Challenging old paradigms
When it comes to popular advice, I tend to be a bit of a contrarian. Or, at least, a questioner.
There is a saying many of you may have heard of and it goes like this:
“LEAVE it. CHAGE it. Or ACCEPT it.“
I’ve heard this so many times. Very popular on the instagramz as well.
But what if there is a forth option we can chose from? What if I tell you that neither leaving, nor changing anything or accepting my severe illness helped me to overcome many challenges I have faced so far?
What if I tell you that my real healing journey started when I couldn’t leave, change or accept my situation any longer? And what if I tell you right here, right now that so can you?
The power of the mind
“There’s no limit to the power of the human mind.”- Swami Vivekananda
Did you know that your thoughts can either make you sick or make you healthy?
What if I told you that you don’t need the perfect environment to feel whole. And what if I told you that, you cannot blame anyone or anything outside of you for how you feel inside of you? What if I told you that by changing your thoughts you can change your body, transform your days and change your entire life – for the better? And what if I told you that your thoughts create your reality and that you have the choice to create yourself anytime and anywhere you want?
The amazing feeling of freedom after overcoming challenges
The moment you feel whole the body becomes your mind. What you think and feel becomes your reality and you start to heal your body, your mind, your soul. Remember that your body doesn’t know the difference between the experienced event and your pure imagined experience of the event. The only limits you have are the limits you believe in.
I have sad it several times, but I am going to repeat it again:
Healing takes time. It’s hard you know. Being patient and sticking to your goals. There is no “quick solution” as popularized by lots of therapies out there nowadays. This makes me really sad, because it assumes that we are just like a machine that can easily been fixed on any given day. The truth is: healing is far away from being easy.
Ease is not the goal of growth. GROWTH is the goal of growth.
Growth happens when you face and embrace uncertainty; when you venture into the messy, terrifying, unchartertered, groundless territory ahead.
No expectations. Just pure awareness. Pure surrendering to the yet unknown.
There is no “hack”. There is no short cut. No matter what anyone dangles in front of you. Overcoming challenges, healing and recovery are holistic. Talking, visualising, manifesting, and other methods are great, but you have to take them into action. It is hard, continues daily WORK.
I realise that what I’m telling you isn’t “sexy”. I realise it sucks and I know this because once a week my mind races, I doubt myself, I want to just say f*** it all and quit. My ed voice loves to be the victim. And I forgive myself because it’s part of healing. It’s part of being alive.
Trust me. You need to dig deep before you will rise. Healing is a PRACTICE. Healing is a CHOICE you have to make DAILY.
Why YOU have to re(dis)cover yourself and take your own time to thrive?
There is a story I like to tell when people ask me, why I had to “re(dis)cover” and challenge myself.
The story goes like this:
Once upon a time a scientist found a cocoon. He noticed a small opening and decided to sit down to watch the butterfly as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. But the butterfly seemed to stop making any progress.
The scientist decided to help. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. Now the butterfly emerged easily through the hole. But it had a swollen body and small, shrivelled wings.
The scientist continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
But neither happened!
In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shrivelled wings. It was never able to fly.
What the scientist, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were Life’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
What this story teaches us?
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives to thrive. I am not saying that we shouldn’t ask for help. During difficult times, it is actually NECESSARY to get help, just no interference. There are processes of life, things we all go through. The struggles are a part of our journey and are preparing us for what awaits. They are preparing us to fly one day. But it all needs to start from the inside – and not from the outside.
Remember that you have the power to change. You have all the resources it needs to overcome almost every obstacle. Don’t be shy to become the. Take your time but use this time wisely!
Repeat after me: ”I have the power to change. With my wisdom I can achieve all that I want in my life.”
Doesn’t it feel amazing and empowering to say this out loud?
How can I be courageous during difficult challenges?
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” – Mark Twain
We will all face challenges in life that seem to be impossible to overcome. But trust me, that even the highest mountain has been climbed before and if some people can do it, so can you.
Research confirms that an act of courage is not fearlessness. It is about taking action and persisting despite any fear. You know that saying: What you resist, persists. But, as I know from my own past, it not only persists, but will grow in size.
Courage can actually lead to fearlessness. There are different kinds of courage: moral, psychological, and everyday courage. The important thing is though that you define for yourself what being courageous means to you. And start acting on it. Otherwise, however regrettably, you’ll have made yourself part of the problem, rather than the so-longed-after solution.
Think of a challenge as a chance to make you stronger, instead of drag you down. Every challenge – no matter how bis or small – is a new opportunity to make yourself more resistant and confident when future challenges arise.
My top tipps for REAL, long-lasting change:
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Honour your struggles.
“Your challenges are not here to defeat you. They are meant to REVEAL you. From you. To yourself.” – Nila
Believe me, one act of courage is better than a hundred vision boards. The issue really is one of mindset. So tune out to tune in. Remember, a healthy outside starts on the inside. When we start to see the struggle as a necessary, important, and positive part of our journey, we can find true peace and personal power. Whenever I am facing a difficult situation I read the following quote by Michelle Obama: “You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage. Instead, its important for you to understand that your experience facing and overcoming adversity is actually one of your biggest advantages.”
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Share your truth and ask for help.
“Just because the sky is cloudy, doesn’t mean there is no sun.” Just because someone can’t see your potential or share your vision, doesn’t disqualify you. You are stronger than you think, you can live a life that is yours, expressing your own truth and pursuing your dreams. But don’t back up from fully expressing yourself, as in your full expression lies your freedom. Here is one thing many people get wrong about the “Law of Attraction”: They believe that it is simply enough to wish without action. But the universe only has your back, once you start to think, feel and act according to your dreams. That is, if the universe isn’t giving you what you want, maybe its because the universe just doesn’t know what you are asking for. My advice: Trust others with your truth and communicate your struggles.
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Take responsibility.
I have come to realise that responsibility is our unique human possibility to respond to possibilities. Instead of playing the victim role, start to act as though you would be the hero of your story. Stand in your truth and act accordingly. This involves showing the world the true you, not the person you so eagerly tried to be. Don’t hide your true feelings behind the curtain in hope that one day someone will come to uncover them. Let your tears run down when you are sad, laugh out loud, even though it might feel hilarious at first. Tell a friend how you really feel at the moment. Trust me, they will always understand! Your life is your responsibility. It’s your unique gift to respond to more possibilities, which will only surface, once you start to act on it!
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Find someone to fight for (apart from yourself) and act accordingly.
Hoping to achieve something without acting on it is like hoping for help without asking for it. As a matter of fact, often times, we will do more for others and step out of our own comfort zone if it is meant to be there for someone else. In doing something for others, how ever small that act may be, we find our reason for courage, and our course for focus and change. When you are sick, ask yourself “who needs me to be healthy?”. If you are unfit, ask yourself “who needs me to be strong?”. If you really want to make a positive impact in this world, ask yourself “am I practicing what I am preaching?”. Don’t complain. Act. Don’t criticise. Just go for it. Don’t try to conform. Live your truth.
What it all comes down to
“You take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: NO ONE TO BLAME!” – unknown
During my process of self-recovery, I’ve read more than 30 books on self-healing and personal development so far and here is what I’ve learned: The only thing that is stopping me from becoming who I want to be is – and has always been – myself!
I believe, within each and every one of us lies the capacity to manifest, attract and achieve all that we need and desire.
What I have learned over the last 10 years of falling victim to a life-threatening eating disorder is that you can only overcome real challenges when you start to change yourself. You see, neither leaving the situation (flying off to Bali in hope to recover fully), nor changing the situation (changing my career and moving across Europe) helped me overcome my challenges. Accepting it was never an option, as I knew that I had a purpose, a mission to accomplish in this life. So I kept going. Always.
It was only when I started to look inside – instead of outside of myself – that EVERYTHING started to slowly change. Suddenly my body started changing and I could sense the happiness slowly evolving back into my life. Changing myself, my limiting beliefs, my thoughts, feelings and turning inside, fully, is changing my entire life.
So here is my advice for you. There are always 4 options. You can decide which you chose, but I advice you to go for the last, as only this can change your life – for the better!
Leave it. Change it. Accept it or
Change yourself!
Some final (but important) thoughts
Know the difference between the things you can change and those you can’t.
We all know that there are some situations in life we simply don’t have any control over. The daily traffic, the queue at the supermarket, the madness of other people. But we always have the choice to change our perspective of any situation.
The best thing about courage is that it acts like a ripple effect. Yes, courage is contagious. So go out there, believe that you can and you will And know that “your personality creates your personal reality.” – Dr. Joe Dispenza
If there is one thing I will leave you with today it is this:
You are capable of remarkable things that you could never foretell and will never discover without any action. I believe that within each and every one of us lies the capacity to manifest, attract and achieve all that we need and desire. I believe that by turning within, we can overcome almost every challenges that we face in life.
Do you want to stay a memory of the past, or become a vision of your future?
I hope you go for the later!
If you feel stuck and feel that outside forces are dragging you down, reach out for help or contact me for more information. I am always happy to chat and talk about the challenges hat are part of our lives. Moreover, there are many wonderful people and institutions that can help you. Don’t trust a therapist marketing rapid solutions. As I’ve sad: There are no rapid solutions to long-term problems.
But you have to step outside your own little comfortable cave and trust that overcoming obstacles is not easy but totally possible and – oh SO WORTH IT!
Stay happy, healthy and confident.
Always.
Nila
PS: The one thing that has made a lasting positive impact in my life is this journal. 🙂
