close up photo of monarch butterfly on top of flower

If I am honest, I didn’t always honour and love all of my pieces. I didn’t always share my truth. I didn’t feel free to be – me. Quite the contrary.

For as far as I can remember, I hid from my fear, my insecurities, my story. Feeling like I was “too much” and “not enough” tightly pinched into one disconnected body. My heart begged of me to learn from the cracks, to journey into the darkness and remember the light. To love the foundations of my own home and live in the embodiment of my wholeness – within.

This became my road-trip home…

with a destination unknown. The path no one else could walk for me.

Sometimes I muse that life itself is our homecoming; a journey of unlearning who we thought we should be or who we were told we should be so that we can remember what and who we truly are.

All I wanted was to be – me

So I began to devote my energy to gentleness. Discovering who I was outside of who the world told me I needed to be.

How many times have you tried to change into the “best” version of yourself, thinking that this solution can be found just around the corner in the next diet, guru, or self-help modality you try?

Believing that the perfect job, life, or relationship will be possible for you, just as soon as you’ve achieved this latest goal?

What if being you is about embracing being different? And what if being you could change everything?

What does it look like to just be, without being busy getting in the way? Who are you when we stop scrolling, stop posting, stop using social media for a means of distraction?

who are you now?

There’s no timeline for starting.
There’s no fixed age by which you should’ve achieved something.
It’s never too late to be(come) who you came here to be!

We are not supposed to know

Listen, this is really important – and something I wish someone told me earlier along my journey. There is a reason why things like coaching and courses and all the things exist. Because you’re not supposed to know how to do all this already. We are not born knowing how to walk and talk and do differential equations; these are things we learn and are guided to (although some we don’t always remember).  

The same is true with our desires, our direction, our very own definition of what “living a GOOD life” feels and looks like for us – we can be too close to see it clearly, and we need a little support to get through the woods. It’s ok if you don’t know right now – you’re not supposed to.

The biggest learning: When you stop looking for “life-changing” you can start to change your life.

I now know how to be – me, but

I am not a guru, and I don’t have the answers – your answers. Instead, I have questions – I love questions – that will make you rethink your need to get things right in order to be you.

What is already bearing fruit?

What feels hard for you in this season? Why?

Who are you outside of people’s expectations? 

What are you redefining in your life and about yourself? 

When’s the last time you allowed yourself to be?

What did that feel like? look like? sound like? taste like? 

What direction do you want to go in next? And finally..

What would love do?

Your heart knows the answers and is calling for you to listen. ⁣

Let these questions sink in.
Journal about them.

Be curious.
Make mistakes.
Learn from them.
Try again.

Settle.
Soften.
Breathe.
Repeat.

Hand on your heart.
Feet on the Ground.
Here as you are.

That’s how you will make it through.

May we keep living these questions…
without expecting an (immediate) answer.

Always – and forever.

With love,
as always,
Nila

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