The Process of HEALING

The work of self-healing & what it has taught me

In this post you will learn:


  • what it means to take full RESPONSIBILITY for your health
  • how freedom goes hand in hand with healing
  • my personal process of healing (8 C’s)
  • what healing has taught me
  • my “secret recipe for healing”


Responsibility is the POSSIBILITY to RESPOND


As you might know, if you have been following me on Instagram for a while, you know that for years, I had so much resistance to change. I was desperately waiting for something, someone outside of me to change how I was feeling inside.

Guess what: no-one came to rescue me. ⠀⠀

When I finally accepted that no one was coming to “save” me, my “real” healing journey began.

My journey to the GOOD LIFE started with one conscious CHOICE.

It started by taking full RESPONSIBILITY for my life.

Responsibility is the POSSIBILITY to RESPOND, to take a step back, consider the options and decide how to best react to a situation – in any given moment.

This being said, I believe that healing is the process of finding our own power. It’s taking full RESPONSIBILITY for our actions and thoughts. I was gently reminded by Dr. Nicole LaPera that: Personal accountability is FREEDOM.


And I would even go a step further..



Healing = Personal Accountability 


Personal Accountability = Freedom


Freedom/Healing = Choice

This means that every single time we face an event in our surroundings happening to us, we have a chance to respond in a new way in the present moment.

You cannot control what happens to you, but you can always chose how you respond to it!

I believe that the most direct path to heal yourself and create YOUR GOOD LIFE is to refuse to abandon yourself anymore.

When we desperately sit around waiting for the ONE to approve or disapprove our actions, we abandon our own wisdom. We spend so much time searching for the ONE person, who will make us complete, when the one – and only one – is one look into the mirror away from us!


The work of self-healing


Healing and transforming is an ongoing journey of unlearning and relearning, deconstructing old reactions and (re)constructing new neuronal pathways. This is the work of self-healing, which we have to consciously chose every single day. Our healing means choosing ourselves. Keeping promises to ourselves. Showing up for ourselves even – and especially – when the Ego is screaming to sabotage. That’s what it does best. But what I have come to realise is that the work, however hard it may be, is so worth it.

A bad day for the Ego is a great day for the Soul.

And I want everyone who is reading this to know that we cannot change what happens to us. (I’ve tried it, didn’t work..) But we can – at any moment – consciously chose how we RESPOND to it.

And before you stop reading now, because you feel that there is no hope for you, remember: The temptation to quit is usually the greatest just before you succeed!

My wish for you is that you open yourself to the possibility that you have the freedom to respond – always. You are human. You have the right to change, to evolve, to make mistakes, and to be happy. Now, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or.. never.

The choice is always yours, and yours only.


A Self-healer is a witness – not a judge of his feelings


As I’ve outlined many times before, healing isn’t linear, it’s cyclical, with many roadblocks along the way. Your growth will change the shape you take. It will soften your edges and strengthen your core. It will make you stronger from the inside out.

It’s not a dramatic change, but the subtle calm. It is removing yourself from what isn’t good for you and waking up to who you are with acceptance. Healing means showing up day in day out and looking within, not blaming the outside world. It’s randomly realizing that you haven’t done that unhelpful thing in a while and accepting that you will still have tough days, whilst knowing that they will pass. It’s finding safety in yourself, and building self-trust.⁣

True healing occurs when you can sit with all your feelings rather than numbing, judging or suppressing them. True healing appears when you are able to stay calm in the midst of adversity. When you can silently observe, without judging what you used to push away.

Our thoughts and emotions are just INFORMATION.

My 8 C’s of healing


Disclaimer: This is MY PERSONAL process of (emotional) healing. As I have had some incidences in the past where people cut out my credentials and claim my work as theirs, I decided to make it OBVIOUS that this is MY personal experience with healing.

It doesn’t mean that everyone will go through the same transformation.

I’m sharing this as I want you to know that the path might be different, but that healing is a journey, where one block builds upon the other. If healing happened through insight alone, we would ALL be enlightened and free from our pain. But healing happens when we metabolise insight at the level of the heart and transform it into conscious and consistent action.⠀

The first step towards change is becoming conscious of the unconscious.

Becoming CONSCIOUS lead me to make a COMMITMENT, which in turn lead me to CONFRONT my feelings.. (see the illustration below).

It’s a PROCESS and has nothing to do with perfection.
Sometimes you will feel “stuck”.
Sometimes you will take a step back.
But one conscious choice leads to the next.. until you can see & feel the first results!⁣

Asking for help is OK.-3.png

What healing has taught me


As I heal, I learn to..

  • be alone without feeling lonely.
  • be comfortable with my discomfort.
  • witness without judging.
  • observe rather than react.
  • accept rather than judge.
  • return to the now instead of living in the past.
  • feel more inner peace and less outer chaos.
  • develop more self-love and less self-sabotage.
  • set more boundaries and less resentment.
  • be more faithful and less fearful.
    .. Oh and so so much more.. as I am continuing to surrender & evolve.

My “secret recipe for healing”


One of the biggest misconceptions of our time is the idea that we require something external to heal ourselves. We have access to the most advanced prescriptions and procedures—and yet, we still find ourselves in an epidemic of chronic physical, mental and spiritual imbalances.
What if we’re missing out on the bigger picture?
What if we’ve forgotten centuries of healing wisdom?
What if there was a much better way?


The “better” way

The truth is: our bodies are designed to be healthy, to be balanced and to heal—naturally. You were born to be healthy. To feel alive and joyful. To go through each day without fatigue, anxiety, depression or aches and pains. The truth is that we all carry this inner wisdom that needs to be acknowledged and practiced. ⠀⠀

I strongly believe that we all came to this planet to THRIVE and with traditional medicine “put a bandaid on it” approach, people are often robbed of their potential with a cocktail or daily pills with harmful side effects. (I am not talking about life or death situations I am talking about when pills are used as a first line do defense in a non-emergency situation). Many people are unaware of how much they can prevent and treat themselves with holistic approaches as they had for many years in the past.

Remember: Your pain is probably NOT YOUR FAULT! But your healing is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY (aka your possibility to respond (in the present) to what has happened(in the past))!

What you resist, persists!

For some specific tips on how to start your healing journey CLICK HERE (for 10 tips on healing yourself) or HERE (for an introduction to the C-C-C method).


Happy healing and evolving ?




PS: As some of you seem to have trouble “making the unconscious conscious”, I highly advice you to try the GOOD LIFE journal and follow the instructions for 30 days (or more)! It has helped me (and many others) so much on our healing journeys.

It’s a simple tool, but to elicit it’s effectiveness you have to make it a DAILY practice. I developed it as a self-help tool that you can easily fill in in the morning. It’s based on scientifically proven tools and can be done by EVERYONE (kids included). You can download it HERE !

Happy journaling & healing ?

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